The Muhurtham belongs to the rituals and the elders. The Reception, the Varaverpu, is where the wider circle comes in: colleagues, school friends, the cousins’ friends, the neighbours your parents insist on. Here are ideas that keep it Tamil, relaxed and well run.
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Timing
Many couples hold the Reception on the evening of the wedding, which is easiest for guests who travel. Others hold it a day or a week later, which gives the couple a rest and lets the Reception guest list be planned separately. Either works; just make each event a separate entry on your invitation and website, with its own time and venue.
The welcome
- A kolam at the entrance, drawn on the day in rice flour or chalk, or a printed one for a carpeted hall.
- A kuthuvilakku lit at the door or beside the stage.
- Rosewater sprinkled on arriving guests and a little sandal paste and kumkumam offered on a tray, a welcome many families still keep.
- Jasmine strings for women guests at the entrance.
Your entrance
A live nadaswaram and thavil, even for five minutes, changes the energy of a room. If live players are hard to find, a good recording works. Some couples enter to a favourite film song from their parents’ generation, which tends to get the elders singing along.
Food
Receptions often have a bigger and more mixed menu than the wedding lunch. Most couples offer separate vegetarian and non-vegetarian menus, and it is the single most important number to get right.
- Ask for vegetarian and non-vegetarian counts in your RSVP, not just a headcount.
- Label dishes clearly at the buffet, especially for anything containing egg.
- Think about a live counter: dosai, kothu or appam made in front of guests are always popular.
- Finish with something familiar: payasam, kesari or ice cream for the children.
Stage photos
The line of guests waiting to be photographed with the couple is a Tamil Reception institution, and it can take most of the evening. To keep it moving, ask a cousin from each side to call families up in turn, and start it while dinner is being served rather than after.
Looking after the elders
Reserve tables near the stage and away from the speakers for grandparents and elderly relatives, serve them first, and ask a cousin to bring them up to the stage for photos early, before the queue builds.
Speeches and entertainment
- Keep speeches to two or three, five minutes each. A word from each father and the best friend is usually enough.
- A short slideshow of baby photos from both families never fails.
- Cousins’ dance performances are a joy; give them a time slot so dinner is not delayed.
Return gifts
Many families give guests a thamboolam bag on the way out: traditionally betel leaves, areca nut, a coconut or fruit, turmeric and kumkumam, sometimes with a small gift. Some couples choose a box of sweets, a small plant or a donation card instead.
Blessings from those who cannot come
Every Tamil wedding has relatives who cannot travel. A guestbook on your website lets them send a photo and a blessing, which you can read later or even show on a screen at the Reception. Many couples head it with one Tamil word, Vaazhthukkal, “wishes and blessings”.
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Getting the numbers right
Reception guest lists grow. Set a reply-by date about six weeks before, send reminders to anyone who has not replied two weeks before that, and give the hall your final numbers with the veg and non-veg split as soon as you have them.